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Time-Out Vs. Time-In!
Hey moms! Have you ever put yourself in
time-out? I have! Sometimes I want time-out from the house-work. Time-out from
fighting kids. Time-out from laundry. My problem is that I often don't want to
come out of "time-out". My room is peaceful and I can avoid all the negative
that real life can bring with it. I like time-out and I don't care if I ever let
myself out of my room for "Time-In". I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there who
has felt like this, but what can we learn from it to become better parents?
Using Time-out for bad behavior is hardly a new concept and every classroom I
have ever been in has used it in some form or another. But as our child's
"teachers" in life, we need to be reminded about the rules for a successful
time-out.
TIME-IN!
Time Out will not be effective if you don't have time-in. Time-in is the "Good
Stuff" a child likes. If a child has nothing to lose by going to time-out, and
no incentive to be apart of Time-in, it won't work.
Time-in for fun with the rest of the family. Time-in for happy activities.
Time-in needs to seem like thee place to be and the starkest contrast to
time-out as you can make it appear. Just as I need positive incentive to come
out of my room and be the mom again...kids need the incentive too. Sometimes
when one of our children is sent to time out my husband and I will immediately
start a family game or have an impromptu dance to their favorite music. Anything
to make time-in fun. Sometimes we will loudly say, "Oh I wish so-&-so could be
here to join us" :) It is more effective said to other Time-in kids and family
members, where the time-out child can overhear, then if we say it to them
personally. Why?
NO TALKING!
You shouldn't talk to your child when they are in time-out. The idea is to take
away the good stuff for awhile and your attention is one of those good things.
BE A "5-1" PARENT
For every time you your child goes to time-out for misbehavior, provide 5
opportunities for them to earn praise or reward.
END WITH LOVE!
When something has upset a child, having each parent give an additional 50
touches a day is a good form of "medicine." Remember this phrase: "When in
Reach, Reach Out!"
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