Being a Mom?

Does just having kids mean that I know how to be a mom? That was the question that I was asking myself when I first found out that I was pregnant. What am I going to do? How will I know what my baby wants? I was totally scared!

There was no shortage of input from all around me. My mom would tell me one thing, but then thinking back, I really don't remember her ever living up to her advice. My aunts would tell me something completely different, which made me even more scared and confused. I tried reading the books, but my pregnancy never really followed what they were saying. My husband tried to be supportive, but all that I could think is "how do you know what I am going through!"

After nine months, which seemed more like nine years, I went into labor. I was torn between feeling excited, anxious, happy, and scared. I really don't remember the pain. What I do remember is how I felt when I first saw my baby. It is a feeling that is very difficult to put into words. I felt as though I was glowing and that an angel had just been handed to me. All of my anxieties were gone, as was my confusion about what to do. It was as if he could talk to me without using words. The sound of his coo or the look in his eyes told me everything that I needed to know. Sure, I was still scared when we left the hospital, but he gave me a look that I will never forget. He grabbed my finger, and looked into my eyes as if to say "it's okay mom, we'll be fine." You know that was the best advice that I received!

It's been 8 years now, and me and my son are as close as ever. There have been tough times, but we are able to work through them. He is growing up to be a great young man, and I couldn't be more proud. I think that he has taught me as much as I have taught him:)

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